


Cleanup In Aisle Seven

by Echolight



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Crack, Inspired by Twitter, M/M, Omega Castiel (Supernatural), Walmart, and this tag is at the request of my friend ames, i squirt the coochie electric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27768772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echolight/pseuds/Echolight
Summary: It’s not easy being a beta because it’s inevitably always betas who get stuck with cleanup duty.“what have you accomplished besides leaking out your ass at a walmart in every destiel fanfic”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 35
Kudos: 56





	Cleanup In Aisle Seven

**Author's Note:**

  * For [legolaswashere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolaswashere/gifts), [gloomybelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloomybelle/gifts), [staininspace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/staininspace/gifts).



> Inspired by this meme, so y'all know I'm not deranged enough to come up with this on my own.

It’s not easy being a beta, thinks Kiki, because it’s inevitably always betas who get stuck with cleanup duty. What ever happened to cleaning up your own messes? She’s got a lot of time to think, because apparently slick is hard to mop up, and it’s _everywhere_. Seriously. She thinks it might have even gotten on the _other side_ of the freezer doors. She doesn’t want to think about how that happened, but even that is more desirable than her current situation.

It all starts when she clocks in for the day, and Dean, the general manager, pulls her aside.

“Morning, Kiki.”

“Morning,” she replies, suspicious. It’s not like him to approach her and that means he probably has a specific task for her in mind. Great.

“How was the rest of your afternoon yesterday?”

“It was fine.”

She’s not having it.

“Good to hear. Listen, we got a new hire starting today.”

And there it is.

“Think you could show him the ropes?”

Well it’s not like she can really refuse, so this is all just a formality.

Biting back a sigh, she nods.

Dean smiles and claps her on the shoulder. “Great! Thanks Kiki. Knew I could rely on you. He should be here any moment now. He’s all set up in the system so you just have to show him how to use it. His name’s—” He looks down at the paper on the clipboard he’s holding and squints. “Cas… Teal? Anyways, good luck.”

He’s walked off before she can even get a word in edgewise. She stands around, and she would be at a loss for what to do, were it not for the fact that a tall, confused looking guy who’s staring at her. She puts on her customer service face as he approaches.

“Hi, how can I help you today?”

“I am the new hire. Castiel?” Oh. So _that’s_ how you pronounce his name. “I was told you would be expecting me.”

“Oh. ”

It takes a while, but eventually Kiki shows him how to clock in and finds an employee vest in the back room that fits him. She wrangles the badge printer to print out his name on a sticker (“Can you spell that for me?” “C-A-S-T-I-E-L.” “Wow.”) and it hangs lopsidedly on his vest. She shows him how to rotate the produce from the cart and tells him she’ll be back to check on him in a bit. There’s no way he could fuck up rotating produce, right?

She’s wandering the floor, pretending to look busy, when Dean checks in on her.

“Hey. You get that new guy all set up?”

“Yeah. He’s in aisle seven rotating produce if you wanna check in on him,” she says, hoping to get him off of her case as soon as possible.

He nods and heads off in the direction of aisle seven and she goes back to pretending to work. That was a close one.

She manages to find an almost abandoned back corner of the store and even sit down for a few minutes before her walkie-talkie beeps. She makes a face as she brings it up to her face so she can hear it.

“Kiki?” comes the speaker-distorted voice of her coworker, Kaity.

“Yeah?”

“We got a uh... Situation in aisle seven.”

She doesn’t like the way Kaity paused before the word _situation_.

“A situation? What happened?” Even as she’s asking, the smell hits her nose and she thinks she knows what Kaity is about to say.

“I think it’d be easier for you to come down here and see for yourself,” comes the voice over the walkie-talkie. “It has to do with that new hire of yours.”

As she walks over, the smell grows more pungent. She’s sure everyone in the store can smell it. Approaching the corner of the aisle, she would give anything not to round it. Is this really worth eleven dollars an hour?

Kiki turns the corner and she was naively wrong when she thought the smell couldn’t get any stronger. It’s so thick that she feels like she’s practically swimming through it as she approaches.

Dean has Castiel pinned against the freezer door and luckily from this angle, she can’t see anything other than the fact that his pants are down. Really? Right in front of the frozen pizzas?

She says as much out loud but it falls on deaf ears. She puts a foot down, metaphorically and literally. Unfortunately for her, the literal foot almost slips on the slick-coated floor and she cries out in surprise. That finally gets the attention of the two lip-locked lovers. They break their embrace and turn to look at her, still struggling to regain her balance. When she finally does she looks down to find a truly horrifyingly large portion of the floor surrounding the couple covered in slick.

Well, she showed him how to rotate produce, but she wasn’t expecting him to rotate his own produce.

“Oh. That’s not in the employee handbook.”

They look suitably embarrassed, having realized exactly where they are: a Walmart frozen pizza aisle. She manages to get Castiel to pull up his soaked pants and he shuffles along, leaving a damp trail behind him. Dean is practically glued to his side and they make a beeline for the backroom, nearly bowling a customer picking between heads of broccoli.

She’s sighing, because that’s where the bucket and the mop are and someone needs to clean up this mess, but that’s when she hears the telltale sound of their shitty bucket being wheeled around. Kiki turns around and Kaity has brought over the cleaning supplies before the backroom was off-limits.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me. I’m not going to help,” she says, handing Kiki the mop. “I start at JCPenney on Monday.” Kaity walks off in the direction of the exit, taking off her vest as she goes, and Kiki is left to stare at the bucket and mop and the copious amounts of slick surrounding her.

She looks up and is face to face with the desecrated freezer door. There’s an imprint on it.

This definitely isn’t worth eleven dollars an hour.

**Author's Note:**

> Fanart by my lovely friend [Ames](https://ps1snake.tumblr.com), who has also made a [fanmix](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5xGqeC3wVlbDKJ0BNy6rCq?si=Ij8TaYUbQd25zv9KttyyeQ).
> 
> Idea from my terrible friend [Kiki](https://redvsblue.tumblr.com).
> 
> kiki: ok i got it. au fic. castiel got a new job at walmart. first day of work. he meets his general manager. hes so hot he makes cas go into heat. cas leaks all over aisle 7. dean and cas fuck in the backroom.
> 
> me: GOD i wish i couldn't read
> 
> Commissioned by my terrible friend [Kaity](https://honeyshrines.tumblr.com). I was paid $11 dollars to do this.


End file.
